London: a formal evaluation by the Bounds Rating Agency

This is the first entry for two days: I didn’t tell the story of the trip from Avignon, but the new TVGs are something that you have to experience for yourself. Seeing a whole country go past in a flash is pretty memorable.

The trip was pretty easy – we have it down pat on the trains. Our hotel is great, although we changed rooms today after we told them that the carpet outside our room smelt like a politician had thrown up and died. There are about twenty restaurants and pubs within walking distance, along with the museums, Kensington Palace and Brompton Oratory.

Today was a very different day: shopping in the sales and arranging some evening entertainment. Our theatre review of Les Miserables will have to wait, however: in honour of a great day just being in London, we present a special entry:

TEN THINGS LONDON CAN TEACH PARIS!

1. A pedestrian crossing means a pedestrian crossing, not an opportunity to get bonus points hitting tourists.

2. A congestion tax means never having to reduce your car to rubble to get parking.

3. Opening doors on trains are an indication that others need to get off before you get on, not vice versa.

4. Public toilets should be free and clean and not run by disaffected and unemployed prison warders.

5. The are differences between male and female and these are best celebrated by providing separate toilet facilities.

6. Not all female shop assistants need to be size 6 and under and treat all other sizes with disdain.

7. Sales/Soldes generally mean that there are things that you want to buy that are cheaper (and bigger than a size 6).

8. French reserve is good, but English friendliness is better.

9. Beer

10. Pubs

Not that we don’t love Paris and the French, it’s just that London has both familiarity and variety, enough to keep appealing to visitors for a long time.