Journal of the Plague Year Issue 6
Among the mysteries that current obsessing me is whether there is any logic behind the allegation that Covid-19 is in fact some kind of plot by Chinese Intelligence to disable the world economies and advantage China. Now, given that China is the world’s greatest trading power, anything that leads to a global downturn or, worse, a retreat from globalisation, cannot be in their interests. Nevertheless, let’s examine the Donald’s obsession with the China threat.
The evidence would suggest that, with no change to the senior ranks of Merica’s senior leadership, but a high virus-related death rate, that the country has in fact become more stupid over the last four weeks. Trump, who must have taken his Election Slogan as “Make America Grate Again”, clearly believes that one way to distract from his own confused logic is to piss everyone else off. Of course, the greatest indication that we are watching the daytime equivalent of Saturday Night Live for Stupid People is Fauci’s reaction at this presser, where he goes from bemused, to amazed, to despair.
Of course, China may feel that it is in their best interests to keep Trump in office, which is why any conspiracy to infect the body politic or the economy—which we should now label COVIDCON—was not targeted at the Oval Office. However, I believe the evidence points in another direction: British Intelligence, which unlike it’s transatlantic counterpart, is not an oxymoron.
If the finger of blame is to be pointed anywhere, it’s clearly a Whitehall plot to get Boris out the way for long enough to get a decent Brexit deal, or even make the whole thing impractical. Evidence, I hear you cry, evidence? Less that there was to convict George Pell, I grant you, but there, nonetheless. The average IQ in the Tory Party has risen since Boris has been under the weather, and that’s an achievement that had been considered impossible since Ted Heath was elected. Interesting that I got Heath and Pell in the same paragraph… let’s not go there.
On balance, I think, one should have more reason to fear British intelligence operatives and Porton Down that the machiavellian machinations of militant Mongolians in wet meat markets, or avalanches of alliteration in allegedly intelligent prose. God, I’m bored with sitting in an empty classroom. Let me reflect on these wise words, which seem to explain everything about the current US Administration.
